Florentine Ov'Cyrus

Florentine was my next character. Her life was so short that her history wasn't written until after she had died. But there was one aspect that made some in the party groan and others loved, she was Persephone's sister. A funny aspect of this story is that some people, who didn't know me well, noticed I was upset. They thought that Florentine (who everyone called Persephone Junior) was the cause. I can't remember what I was upset about but I was all about making new characters especially when my characters died in weird ways so yeah, that wasn't the deal.

Also this refers to another character who was played by someone who has now become a great friend (cause he is such a cool guy.) Since our characters entered at the same time we decided we were pulling the same scheme in Sigil, cannot for the life of me remember what the scheme was.

Florentine Ov’Cyrus
“There are never enough Berks in sigil,” Florentine remembered her father’s favorite phrase. “Fresh meat abounds there but you aren’t ready to tell the difference.”

The memory flashed before her eyes. Cyrus grabbing a purse off the elderly woman walking past. Florentine watched in awe. She had been training in masteries of 12 chimes with her father. She could pull something out of almost any pocket in almost any normal garment but she had not even begun to master the casual way her father could walk past an unsuspecting mark. He said having a seven year old with him helped, though she doubted her father’s appearance could ever be looked at without suspicions. He still had both his wings and an eight foot tall tiefling even in Sigil was an intimidating sight.

As her life bled from her Florentine remembered a later point. “The lawful plains have easier marks but the punishments for getting caught are worse. Remember Persephone?”

Florentine laughed “well primes are easy marks too right?”

“If your sister was interested in profit she may have a chance there. Though it was probably some barren place full of barbarians. Those poor barbarians.”

Now as Florentine was being dragged away from those very barbarians her last flash of memory was sitting around the fire with her dad before running off to start her own adventures that brought her to her partnership with Nuqyryn and led her to this place. She remembered her father’s last piece of advice.

“My daughter you are most like me and therefore my favorite so I will give you my most important advice.” As her consciousness fully left her she could hear in her head the last words from her father.
“Never get killed and dragged off by skeletons to their master.”

Happiness

There comes a time for at least some of us when we realize that we are genuinely happy. Let me explain. I have suffered from depression for a lot of my life. Between the ages of 9 and 11 were what I call the triggering events. Middle school was not kind to me (as with anyone who goes through it) but for some reason what everyone else goes through hit me very hard. I don't know that bullying was that much worse for me at the school I was at or if I was more sensitive to it than others but at some point I started being something else and did not begin to mend until I was out of the school I was in at the time.
 At the age of 12 I started going to school at a private school where I could not be ignored (small schools means all the teachers know exactly who you are, who you hang out with, just how crazy you are acting and all that) I did flourish at this school and am glad I went but I don't know that I made any lasting relationships (ok there is one kid 4 years my junior who I still friend on facebook.) I was involved in the school but I don't know if I had really regained the ability to express myself.
 My first year of college met with a relapse that was one of the darkest times of my life (having real adult depression is probably the thing that put those middle school years into perspective.) Suddenly going to a large university made things much harder to deal with. I stopped interacting with people I realized I was dependent on sleep aids and probably the worst moment was when I slept through an entire snow day without realizing that no one else was at class or leaving the dorms.  According to my mother at around Easter I broke down and said I need help. I don't remember this rock bottom moment at all but I dropped out of school and started seeing a counselor.
  While I was seeing my counselor I was still hanging out with a group of friends I met at UNL (I lived about 50 miles away but I made time to go to Sunday role playing.) Years later I am still closer to these people than almost any other friends I have ever had. At the same time I was looking for work and going through school. I started with a 2 week stint at Jimmy Johns (no really they ended my shift 2 weeks after hiring me) and then started lifeguarding at a YMCA. I spent the next two years at a job that professional courtesy allows me to only say sucked. Now this is not a burn on Y's in general. I grew up going to a YMCA and my brother now works for the one I was working at at the time. But factors caused this to be an awful time for me. But after 2 years I left and went back to UNL.
  I got more involved with the Sci-fi club and met more wonderful people in this group. Three of whom would later be my room mates at different times.  However my current room mates were less than perfect. And my studies were also sub par. I was on academic probation and with my grades what they were it soon turned into academic suspension.
  One may see this as a new low and possibly it is but for me this is where things started to get good.  I got another life guarding job that was wonderful, paid well and worked with the hours I wanted. I kept going to Lincoln to see my friends and I went to classes at the local community college that I passed with flying colors.
  A year and a half later I applied to re enter UNL and I got in. I think this was the moment. I found myself in a position where what I was doing felt right. And that's when I noticed it. In the past I was floating aimless and more importantly in a sort of fog.  I had tried to seem happy I had tried to be what was needed for me to be but it wasn't the same. Of course there were good times but overall there was this veil that seemed to separate me from the idea of being ok. I can't really explain it but I know other people who have been through depression describing something similar. A recent anecdote that drives this point home for me is that I was talking with one of my friends who was around at the time I was just joining Sci-Fi club. We were talking about how I used to act back at that time and he said something along the lines of "All I remember is you always seemed so sad" this was a pretty big blow because I was sad. I was not doing well but man was I trying not to show it. I know now that at that point in time I was not ready to trust anyone with knowing me because I was convinced that they would only see this hollowed out horrible thing that I was. Thankfully this was after the miraculous realization of happiness and I was able to shrug it off to some degree.
 So I noticed, I was happy. The best part is it keeps growing. I know people who I can let myself be me around. This was a huge step for me as I said in the previous paragraph. I still cry from time to time. I still stew on things I shouldn't stew on and I still sometimes let things get to me. But I see life with a clarity that I don't think I did for many years. And when I go to bed at night I don't cry myself to sleep, except when terrible things happen... things that I am not ready to talk about yet. And I am able to get past them. Hell even when I look in the mirror and know I need to lose weight I don't think, I'm a fatty who can't do anything right I think, I can totally do this. And you know what, I totally will.